YLIAN'S MESSED UP LIFE
Vicki
I was given a special “Loyalty Discount” of typing an essay that must be at least 1.5k words. Crazy.
But there were no time limit, so I can slowly take my time to type those words lor.
Name: Dumbdumb
Status: Dumb
Aka: Vicki, DEAR, EVERYTHING, Kiki, Ah Siao
Let me start off with saying that Everything is not the best, because nothing can say that the best has yet to be seen. Lets just say that Everything is really everything. :)
She is currently seriously ill with an incurable illness. The LmImAmN illness. The name may be deceiving but DO NOT underestimate the severity of that illness. This illness has a wide range of symptoms. Vicki is a life long sufferer of it. This illness can be avoided by keeping a safe distance away from Lian and prevent yourself from getting too close to her both mentally and physically. Remember the consequences will borne by you alone.
Let me describe her illness and you will know that this illness has forever changed Vicki’s life because of nothing. Remember your parents always teaching you to always finish your meals for whatever weird reasons they give which still make sense? You wouldn’t remember the reason once you got LIAN because LIAN is a rubbish bin who will always finish your meals no matter if you put the plate on the floor and stomp on it then put it back on the table and let LIAN eat it. It doesn’t matter if she saw what u did to that plate of food.
You cant smell any items that belongs to LIAN because the items auto make you addicted to it, and you cant survive w/o smelling/touching it for about 12 consecutive hours. Do not even dare to start having too much body contact with LIAN. If you poke her, you wouldn’t feel like poking anyone else anymore. If you hug her, don’t even bother finding your second half. And that applies when LIAN start saying words such as ILY & MM. If you decided to not find another suitable furniture to sleep or sit on anymore, get LIAN to convert to a armchair but beware because I’ve already told you what would happen if you have too much contact with LIAN.
Then Vicki start calling every object LIAN, again because of overexposure. *Sees a pants, “Lian” Sees a shirt, “Lian”* That’s how it is. But now her reflexes are also much much better than before. She is now capable of accessing the situation around her and can auto SAN to avoid any potential danger from her surroundings. Fantastic change I say.
However, the LIAN illness can change one’s gender too, but this is still undergoing research because the subject Vicki is still safely a girl, for now. But it has been proved that this illness can influence one to change its dining preferences from vegetarian to metallic. Vicki has decided to start trying metal shavings as snacks, DO NOT try that at home.
Ok that’s quite enough about her illness. I shall talk more about the girl for the topic, Vicki. She’s like the most bimbotic friend I ever had, most probably because of the fact that she’s the FIRST bimbotic friend I have till now. And I know her like I am HER MIND which is not true but its close get what I mean? I do not really become that close to my friends and know them so well, till maybe I know them better than themselves. Or this might be because she’s quite easily readable.
There’s this one incident when I lied to her that I know who is Mr Coolness and she totally freaked out and bombarded me with qns all the way from after shopping to taking the EW line back home. Then she totally panicked when I answered all her qns correctly. Then I told her that actually I didn’t know who in my house is Mr Coolness and she didn’t believe it. All the answers I gave then was in response to the reactions she had and the way she showed her expressions and how she phrased her questions, which were pretty obvious. She should learn how to hide the obvious answers in questions or smarter people may get what they want out of her. But now she knows that she should just think that the person do not really know what they are talking about and she should just keep denying it even if its true, just to confuse the person. A great lesson I know. :)
And I haven mentioned that we’re totally opposites. She’s like what, a gal and I’m gay. She loves pinky and perm while I love my black straight hair. She totally adores brainless bimbotic shows like the Hills and Gossip Girl while I WONDER why such shows are there in the first place. She’s short while I’m taller, by cm. hahahahahahah! She’ll break her fingers when attempting to break my rib while I’ll probably break her ribs when I poke her with a single finger. She tortures poor toys which were just trying to live out their lives as merely toys. Toys are never merely toys when in contact with Vicki. They start to have weird personalities, QUITE similar to Vicki’s.
Its kind of funny because I figured her out hahahahahaha! And she’s always surprised when I get what she wanna say w/o her saying or typing it out. She didn’t cry in YEARS. Which is totally insane I tell you. I told her its accumulative and she gets it now. Dumbdumb is dumb, but teachable.
She goes into self denial when she says something nice about everything else EXCEPT everything. Perhaps the LIAN can change that point of her but then it wouldn’t really be Vicki anymore isn’t it? She is also a very SAFE cache because when she promises not to tell a secret, she really wouldn’t, and it doesn’t really matter if you don’t consider it a secret but she does. Cute right? Hahaha! Dun know what to say man.
She said I should be impressed that she can work at the expo monotonously for 6 days because the job is seriously damn boring. Job scope includes folding towels, tagging towels, selling pillows, selling tatamis. But actually what she did is totally OUT OF THE JOB SCOPE. She poked me, stalked me, hopped on me and played train, avoided me like the plague, cried on me(almost), observed someone who she was not supposed to be observing, then pestering me, and the cycle sort of continues. And she felt that working is tougher than learning to cycle. Yeeep. But I do agree for that few hours when she really did work right, it was pretty hmm. She said she would trade anything for a change now, instead of not wanting change at all in the past. Poor mel hahahaha!
Then she said I should feel honored that I went out with her 27days out of 29days which is 93.1% of the time she went out during her holidays. Remember about the LIAN illness? Yep. Then for the first time in her sorry excuse for a life, she queued up to get ME something! That’s like what, the PRESENT that changes the future! Yeaaah.
But I was impressed by her determination when I taught her cycling one bloody FINE day. My evil twin must be in control of the weather then that the sun glared at us. Me being me already felt that the weather was crazy hot and I occasionally seek shelter under the trees at the training ground. But Vicki? She just continued cycling like never tomorrow. Ok its not exactly that but she was very determined you know? Of course we were damn happy that she finally got to cycle w/o falling at the beginning and she gave up after a fall abt 1.5hours into the training but it was already very impressive. And I thought she’s not the type to be tough. Well its always good to know something new about everything.
And I didn’t like it when she always dun wanna choose where to have meals because whenever I ask her that she’ll say I choose. But then I ask her its because I do not know where are the suitable places which do provide a full hot meal for her you know? Eating fries every other meal is not healthy lor, and of course she do wants a hot meal lah like who/what do not want one. It is one of the luckiest things that can happen to Vicki that she has a small stomach and get full easily lah! Imagine Vicki but with MY stomach, she probably starves to death ba.
And I still got about what, 500+words to go and I have no idea what to write le so I shall just ramble whatever I can think of now. Ok scratch that, it was actually less than 100words to go. Yeah Vicki said I’m dumb, among stupid gay, magic!, awwww so sweet, yeah right. And no I do
Wooo, I’m done. :))))))))) Try to make some sense out of it.
Scratched,
Lianmei
Labels: vicki